ZOMG Christmas
by Hoogiman
Summary: As the Smashers enjoy their prechristmas meal, Santa arrives in the Smash Mansion! All of the Smashers are delighted to meet Santa, but Kirby thinks this socalled 'Santa' is a confidence trickster trying to steal their money! Can Kirby stop him? R&R plz
1. Santa Claus Arrives

ZOMG Christmas  
By Hoogiman

**_Disclaimer:  
_**All of the characters mentioned in the story, as well as all other Super Smash Brothers characters are the intellectual property of Nintendo. They are the owners of the rights and not once have I ever claimed that I owned any of the characters. You can't prove anything!

_**Chapter One  
**Santa arrives at the Smash Mansion_

'Twas the day before Christmas, and the Smashers were each doing their own little rituals and festivities for Christmas. The clock struck one o' clock, which sounded a bell, calling the Smashers down for lunch.

Each of the Smashers sat down to their specially assigned chair, with their favourite meal sitting in front of them.

The sheer volume of cheerfulness polluted the air, making it practically impossible for someone not to smile. Even the clinically depressed people managed a smile as they enjoyed their comforting little meal.

After all of the Smashers had fed themselves to absolute capacity, they all decided to have a nice little nap in their seats.

A few minutes passed, when suddenly a horrific screeching explosion-like sound almost deafened all of the Smashers.

The Smashers woke up.

A bearded old man with a big red coat entered the room.

"OMFG IT'S SANTA!" screamed Link.

"Hi everybody," said Santa, walking into the room. "I seem to have a little problem… I was just starting my delivery of the presents, when something caused my sleigh to just **crash!**"

Everybody gasped.

"That means that there'd be no Christmas!" shouted Falco, shocked.

Everybody panicked.

"Wait, wait, there will be Christmas, if you each give me twenty dollars for… fuel money… yeah… fuel money!" said Santa.

"Will that mean there will be Christmas?" asked Falco anxiously in a kiddy voice.

"Just… give me the money… and yes… sure… Christmas will go fine…" said Santa, adjusting his beard.

"Yay!" said everyone, handing over the cash.

Kirby looked angrily at Santa Claus.

**The End**_of the chapter_

Review folks, feedback is appreciated!**  
**


	2. Kirby Intervenes

ZOMG Christmas  
By Hoogiman

**_Disclaimer:  
_**All of the characters mentioned in the story, as well as all other Super Smash Brothers characters are the intellectual property of Nintendo. They are the owners of the rights and not once have I ever claimed that I owned any of the characters. You can't prove anything!

_**Chapter Two  
**Kirby Intervenes_

"I'm sorry, that measly twenty dollars a person won't pay for my fuel!" said Santa Claus, counting up the money.

"We'll help you!" said a cheerful Fox. "I'll give you this hundred dollar note!"

"Thanks," said Santa Claus, snatching away the note.

Fox grinned arrogantly at the other smashers.

"_What a_ _sucker…_" muttered Santa Claus under his breath.

Fox stared at Santa Claus blankly.

"What did you say?" asked Fox.

"Er… what a… f#er! Yeah… what a f#er!" said Santa Claus nervously.

Everyone stared at Santa, shocked.

"Wait… that didn't come out right…" said Santa.

Santa Claus pondered for a few moments.

Everyone continued to stare at Santa in a shocked state.

Santa Claus's beard fell off.

Everybody gasped.

"Er… old age…" said Santa.

"Oh!" said everybody understandingly.

"I mean… what I meant is… that Rudolph… needs money… for food…" said Santa, "Otherwise… he can't… lead our sleigh…"

Santa Claus sighed.

"If you don't give me a thousand dollars each, there will **never **be a Christmas again!" screamed Santa impatiently.

Everybody gasped, and started to hand over their money to Santa Claus.

"Thank you children!" said Santa in a sweet voice.

"Yay!" said everybody happily.

"Now does everyone want extra toys?" asked Santa sweetly, trying to hide his demonic evil voice.

"Yes!" said everybody cheerfully.

"Then give me your money!" shouted Santa.

"Hooray!" said everybody, handing over their life savings.

Kirby looked angrily at Santa Claus.

"Er… Santa," said Kirby nervously, "Do you accept… credit card?"

"_Damn,_" muttered Santa Claus to himself.

Kirby rolled his eyes.

"Well… if you just go into that bathroom with me, I can set up a credit card service for you so I can pay you then!" said Kirby, trying to sound as cheerful as he could.

"Sure," said Santa, trying to sound jolly.

Santa Claus started to walk towards the bathroom with Kirby.

"_Wow, these people are sure gullible,_" muttered Santa Claus to himself.

Kirby rolled his eyes again.

"Well… here's the bathroom!" said Kirby, locking the door behind him.

"So… how do I set up this cre-"

Kirby jumped up, and kicked Santa Claus in the temple, knocking him backwards.

"What kind of scheme are you trying to run here?" asked Kirby angrily.

"_Ugh…_" said Santa Claus, lying on the ground.

"ANSWER ME DAMNIT!1" screamed Kirby, dragging Santa Claus's body over to the toilet, and dunking his head into there.

"_MMF!_" screamed Santa Claus, struggling to breathe.

Kirby took Santa Claus's head out of the toilet.

"Okay," said Kirby angrily, "I'll give you five seconds to answer each question honestly and truthfully!"

Kirby punched Santa Claus in the stomach.

"_Guhh…_" muttered Santa Claus.

"Why are you scamming us out of our money?" said Kirby, threateningly.

Muttered Santa Claus, "I'm not! My ship ran out of fuel and my reindeer don't have enough foo-"

Kirby picked up Santa Claus, and smashed his head against a sink.

"Let's try that again…" said Kirby, angrily. "What is your real name?"

"Santa C-"

Kirby dunked Santa's head in the toilet again, and held it there.

"Still not talking?" asked Kirby.

Kirby took Santa Claus's head out. Santa desperately gasped for air.

"What is your real name?" asked Kirby, extremely angry now.

"Santa-"

Kirby threw Santa Claus against the mirror, shattering the glass. Santa Claus stopped moving, and Kirby took the money out of Santa's pocket.

"Hey… just in time for the latest episode of, '_Everybody Loves Raymond_'!" said Kirby, laughing.

Kirby turned on the television.

"_Raymond, a doormat could score better in an IQ test than you!_" _said a character on the television screen._

"Debra," laughed Kirby, "You are so witty!"

"_We__interrupt this extremely funny episode of 'Everybody Loves Raymond',_" _said a sarcastic news presenter, "To bring you breaking news!"_

Kirby looked at the screen.

"_Santa Claus, bearer of Christmas gifts has been reported missing!_" _said the new presenter. _

Kirby looked slightly worried.

"_Santa Claus was last seen asking kind strangers for money as his tank ran out of fuel!" said the news presenter._

Kirby, sweating, looked at Santa Claus's body lying there, his head smashed against a mirror.

"_If you think you have found the real Santa, this is a picture of the real Santa's sled!" said the news presenter._

"Naah… probably just some co-incidence," said Kirby nervously, trying to reassure himself that he didn't just interrogate Santa Claus.

Kirby washed the blood off his hands, and ran outside the bathroom.

"Look Kirby, it's Santa's sled!" said Peach, pointing to Santa's sled.

Kirby looked stunned, as he was looking at Santa's genuine sled.

"That… was… the… real… Santa's… sled…" said Kirby, shocked.

Kirby ran back into the bathroom.

"There appears to be a mix-up, Santa," chuckled Kirby, patting Santa on the back, "I thought you were… an imposter!"

Kirby laughed nervously.

"No hard feelings, then?" asked Kirby, patting Santa on the arm.

Santa's arm fell off.

Kirby looked at Santa.

"I just… killed… Santa Claus…" said Kirby, shocked.

**End Chapter Two**

Review please, feedback is appreciated.


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